Devri's first college concert

Christine drove Mom and Dad up for Devri's college debut this Thursday. I was amazed to hear the difference in sound between her high school choirs and college---it was beautiful! Mom was attentive during the entire performance, clapping appropriately, and pointed to Devri's name in the program.

When Eric came up to say hello, however, her mind was occupied with what people were doing in front of her and she did not see him. He said, "Hi, Grandma....Grandma....Grandma, over here....." then looked at me baffled as to what to do. He was standing only a step ahead of her, just off one shoulder, but still she did not turn. He waved in front of her face even, and received no response. I said, "Stand right in front of her." So he took one step left and repeated, "Hi, Grandma." She focused on him in surprise as if saying, "Eric! Where did you come from?!" She gave a hug and was happy to see him, but it was rather odd that she did not appear to see or hear him until he stood right in front of her eyes.

It was a beautiful concert as I said and I'm sure she enjoyed it. Each time I take her somewhere I think, "Wow. Mom is absolutely, undeniably qualified to be in a nursing center, but instead, I get to take her with me wherever I want. That is just so great!" We are incredibly fortunate!

Taking Aim

Build-A-Bear is putting toys in Happy Meals these days---a little stuffed animal with a shirt that comes on and off. When I go to my night class on Mondays, I pick one up for Mom and she appears to enjoy her little collection, sitting them all up straight in a chair facing her. She takes their shirts on and off again and again. It takes quite a bit of fine motor skill to do this and it takes her a very long time to do, but she doesn't appear frustrated, just keeps working and working on it to get the shirt over the head and the arms in the sleeves. It makes me crazy to watch her because I get frustrated---so tempted just to take it from her and do it myself, but I know that getting bears dressed and undressed is really not the point.....it's the practice using her hands and fingers whose use appears to be deteriorating more each time I see her.

Anyway, I was sitting at the table watching the football game and she was sitting with her little animals, situating them just so on a chair, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a pink monkey in a T-shirt sailing straight toward my head. I turned to see her smiling at me, waiting for a reaction. I said, "I guess I'm not paying enough attention to you, is that it?" She laughed. I shook my head and gave her a smirk, tossed the monkey back, and turned back to my game. A minute or two passed and again, (this time a polka-dotted cat) came flying at me. I turned to see her same hesitation, waiting for my response. I said, "Mom, you are such a goober....do you know that?" She laughed some more and I pelted her with the cat in return. So, you must know that although her communication skills are limited, her aim is quite good. The lesson learned is that even though Mom isn't talking, she still wants to receive her fair share of attention. I'm thinking I'd better watch my back for the day she decides to pick up a brick and send it sailing!

three visitors from California

(Mom and Darin with Dad in the back---Grandma Lottie's house.)

My cousin, Darin, came to visit en route to his brother's wedding in St. Louis. Mom's sister and Darin's mother, Janice, made a great meal at Grandma Lottie's house. Mom hugged Darin more in that one visit than she probably had in his whole life! She evidently recognized him and appeared very happy to see him. Lottie (Mom's mother) was doing very well too, particulaly since she's 97! Today, however, she's been admitted to the hospital, so I'm on my way to see how that's going.

Also visiting from California last Wednesday were the Ramey's who are relatives on Dad's side of the family. They have been coming out once/year and Mom and Dad always look foward to it. They brought dinner, too, which was a definite plus. I had planned to go down and visit, too, but after a day of school, "the spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak." In other words, I was lazy and didn't go and now I wish I had.

Mom is doing fine. Her fingers are pretty curled up now and she uses her thumb an forefinger much like pinchers when she eats. She has a lot of trouble with buttons, too. Dad says she's being "beligerant" about swallowing her pills, namely calcium and thyroid stuff. I guess she gave him the old "switch-er-oo" by putting the calcium tablet in her mouth and later he found half of it somewhere and another half somewhere else. Kind of reminds me about Mom saying I used to take food I didn't want to eat and hide it in the potted plants. So---now we know where I got that! I told Dad to ask the pharmacist to put her pills in liquid form, which he didn't know was possible. He said he tried hiding them in applesauce, but she got wise to that real quick and it was "game over." She's definitely ornery and she knows it, and laughs. And of course we just laugh, too. It's such a bizarre trip, this Alzheimer's stuff....wish Mom were "here" to enjoy the craziness with us. She'd probably laugh at herself! (Darin, Eric, Dad, Devri, Patrick, me,Mom, and Grandma Lottie at dinner.)

CB saves the day

CB, otherwise known as my cousin, Carla, (Carla Baby, thus called by Dad,) will be watching Mom four hours/week so Dad can have some time off. Exactly one week after Dad dismissed the Oxford-care lady he announced to me that Mom was making him completely and certifiably crazy. I said, "You don't say.....what a surprise." So, I suggested having Carla come. She will be paid, of course, but will not be as expensive as Oxford. He thought that was a good idea and gave me the go-ahead to ask her to come next Tuesday. She does substitute teach some, but if she gets called away she can always come a different day. Christine has been home a lot more lately after school and on weekends because she has so much homework she can't breathe. (And she takes her schoolwork very seriously.) I had planned to go down to Mom and Dad's this Saturday so she could go out after her homework was done, but she announced her homework wouldn't be done until midnight, so she'd be there. Through the daytime, though, she is attending classes and working, and Dad is left alone. I know that's pretty tough for him.

Dad is keeping very busy working with Tommy White to basically rebuilt the rock house at the VanSlyke place off D highway. He enjoys being with Tommy and they are really making progress. The house needs a complete and total overhaul. Dad made an agreement with Tommy that if he helped him fix the house, he could "rent" it for free for one year following. I had my doubts. Then I saw the house. Now I'm thinking Tommy is worth every bit of that....what a disaster! He's working like a wild-thing. They've had to re-plumb, put in new floor joists and floors, the tub was about to fall through to the crawl space----then there's the plaster and lathe (sp?) walls that need to be removed because of termites----wow! Anyway, it's quite the distraction from Mom, so I guess that's good, but Dad absolutely cannot work and bring Mom with him with the highway right in front of the house. Again, it's going to be great to have Carla down there so Dad and Tommy can do their thing. Thank you, CB!!!

Also, Mary Schroer and Liesel came down over Labor Day. They watched Mom a great deal while Dad and Tommy worked on the house and Liesel made a fantastic and quite nutrious vegetable pizza. That girl can cook! Thanks so much for coming down to help! That's really something when people spend their Labor Day weekend to drive down from Lincoln, NE and Kansas City, to help with Mom!! If I had my rubber stamp from school, I would stamp "Fantastic!" on both their foreheads.

"What a Wonderful World"

Devri's last concert included several local yokels singing a variety of 40's and 40's-type tunes. Had I known it was going to be so "audience participation friendly," I no doubt would have sat in the balcony, but not knowing, we found ourselves on the very vulnerable 2nd row. As singers performed, the audience was "encouraged" to dance in front, so I wasn't too surprised that Devri came trotting down the aisle to hook Grandpa by the arm and drag him onto the floor. Of course, he really tried to resist, but there comes a time when you just have to conform or make a scene, so off they went. I was surprised, however, that following Devri was Patrick who came and took Mom to the floor after them. I think Mom was a little nervous, as she began to scoot closer to Grandpa and Devri. Patrick guided her closer to them and she seemed content. She patted Patrick's shoulder throughout in a "I-know-you-and-you're-such-a-nice-boy" way. And so they danced, while the singer crooned, "What a Wonderful World." And it was kind of sweet in a sad kind of way, but I guess that's the way it's supposed to be...the young caring for the old and someday becoming "the old" themselves. Devri and Grandpa, Patrick and Grandma, all dancing.......what a wonderful world.....

Gutentag!

Yes, we had a hot German time in Freistatt a couple weeks ago. Mom, Dad and I drove up together, and we were able to meet Dad's sister, Ina, from Springfield as well. Erntfest is always something Mom and Dad have enjoyed and they have gone several times, twice when I was a kid, that I remember. Dad enjoyed the meal and mentioned more than once how long it had been since he'd had such good sauerkraut. (I'm not sure that I've ever had good sauerkraut, but to each his own.) We opted for the water rather than the beer, (as if we don't have enough issues to deal with, without the alcohol,) and spent the evening listening to polka music and watching couples dance. Mom enjoyed herself, tapping her feet to the music and clapping now and again. As the evening wore on she wanted to walk around more and more. I have to walk her holding both hands, sometimes, because she wants to touch everybody, whether she knows them or not. We get some funny looks, but it is clear that Mom isn't thinking too clearly and everyone is very kind and understanding. One young lady even took her hand as if she was her dearest friend and said, "Well, hello. How are you?" smiling, looking into her eyes, but not expecting an answer. So convincing was she that I had to ask, "Do you know my Mom or are you just being friendly?" She smiled and said, "Just being friendly." I think that is just so kind. I thought, "She must be a nurse or something." Anyway, it meant a whole lot to me that she did that and Mom loved the happy greeting, nodding and giving her clear eye contact with a big smile. What makes people so nice?

Anyway, Mom and I walked while Dad and Ina had a chance to visit. While we were there, on two separate occasions, young men she had taught in the 5th grade, 15 years ago, recognized her and she recognized them. Each gave her a big hug and the guy in the photo, Scott Perkins, whispered to her, "You mean a whole lot to me, Mrs. McCleary." I bit my lip. He is now 28. I thought of the countless children she has meant so much to and I was proud. It made me want to take my own teaching career and my students more seriously. Sometimes it's hard to get past their orneriness and keep in mind that someday, these kids will be young men and women. I wonder if someone will want to give me a hug someday and say, "You mean a whole lot to me, Mrs. Stebbins." I hope so. I want to make Mom proud back.

The End of Oxford

Well, Dad cancelled the Oxford Care lady's weekly visits. His argument was that it was "too damned much money," (as I said previously,) and he definitely "was doing fine and could handle it himself." However, I think he did get used to the idea of having someone else watch Mom so he could work outside which was, of course, the whole point. So, he is having my cousin, Carla, come in now and then so he can cut brush or whatever. She does a good job with Mom and it doesn't matter to me who helps. I just want someone to give him a break through the week since I can't. He tried Oxford for actually a month before cancelling, which was our agreement. So I just said, "Ok, Dad, but if you go crazy, don't blame me." Heartless person, I am.

I did have fun with him yesterday, (at least it was fun for me.) I can manage his Jitterbug phone account online and was on there getting him a better deal. While I was there, I did a little "switcheroo-ing." I changed the ring he hears from me to chimes, the one from Christine to "music box," and the one from his brother Norman to harp music. I also alphabetized his phone list which was previously in no order whatsoever. Then I gave him a call---actually about five calls, before he finally picked up (I could envision him walking all over looking for the source of the chimes.) He answered with a little bit doubtful voice, "Are you trying to call me?" Then more adamantly, "I don't know what's the matter with this damn phone---it's gone crazy!" haha After I explained the whole idea of being able to manage an account online, (not sure how much of that he understood), he said, "You're messin' with me, aren't you?" I laughed and told him I amuse myself by twisting the minds of the elderly.

I will also report that Dad's walk-in cat, "Mae Belle," delivered a bundle of fuzzy joy in the floorboard of his truck yesterday (Dad called immediately to make the announcement.) I guess that means he can't drive the truck now for at least six weeks.