Gutentag!

Yes, we had a hot German time in Freistatt a couple weeks ago. Mom, Dad and I drove up together, and we were able to meet Dad's sister, Ina, from Springfield as well. Erntfest is always something Mom and Dad have enjoyed and they have gone several times, twice when I was a kid, that I remember. Dad enjoyed the meal and mentioned more than once how long it had been since he'd had such good sauerkraut. (I'm not sure that I've ever had good sauerkraut, but to each his own.) We opted for the water rather than the beer, (as if we don't have enough issues to deal with, without the alcohol,) and spent the evening listening to polka music and watching couples dance. Mom enjoyed herself, tapping her feet to the music and clapping now and again. As the evening wore on she wanted to walk around more and more. I have to walk her holding both hands, sometimes, because she wants to touch everybody, whether she knows them or not. We get some funny looks, but it is clear that Mom isn't thinking too clearly and everyone is very kind and understanding. One young lady even took her hand as if she was her dearest friend and said, "Well, hello. How are you?" smiling, looking into her eyes, but not expecting an answer. So convincing was she that I had to ask, "Do you know my Mom or are you just being friendly?" She smiled and said, "Just being friendly." I think that is just so kind. I thought, "She must be a nurse or something." Anyway, it meant a whole lot to me that she did that and Mom loved the happy greeting, nodding and giving her clear eye contact with a big smile. What makes people so nice?

Anyway, Mom and I walked while Dad and Ina had a chance to visit. While we were there, on two separate occasions, young men she had taught in the 5th grade, 15 years ago, recognized her and she recognized them. Each gave her a big hug and the guy in the photo, Scott Perkins, whispered to her, "You mean a whole lot to me, Mrs. McCleary." I bit my lip. He is now 28. I thought of the countless children she has meant so much to and I was proud. It made me want to take my own teaching career and my students more seriously. Sometimes it's hard to get past their orneriness and keep in mind that someday, these kids will be young men and women. I wonder if someone will want to give me a hug someday and say, "You mean a whole lot to me, Mrs. Stebbins." I hope so. I want to make Mom proud back.

The End of Oxford

Well, Dad cancelled the Oxford Care lady's weekly visits. His argument was that it was "too damned much money," (as I said previously,) and he definitely "was doing fine and could handle it himself." However, I think he did get used to the idea of having someone else watch Mom so he could work outside which was, of course, the whole point. So, he is having my cousin, Carla, come in now and then so he can cut brush or whatever. She does a good job with Mom and it doesn't matter to me who helps. I just want someone to give him a break through the week since I can't. He tried Oxford for actually a month before cancelling, which was our agreement. So I just said, "Ok, Dad, but if you go crazy, don't blame me." Heartless person, I am.

I did have fun with him yesterday, (at least it was fun for me.) I can manage his Jitterbug phone account online and was on there getting him a better deal. While I was there, I did a little "switcheroo-ing." I changed the ring he hears from me to chimes, the one from Christine to "music box," and the one from his brother Norman to harp music. I also alphabetized his phone list which was previously in no order whatsoever. Then I gave him a call---actually about five calls, before he finally picked up (I could envision him walking all over looking for the source of the chimes.) He answered with a little bit doubtful voice, "Are you trying to call me?" Then more adamantly, "I don't know what's the matter with this damn phone---it's gone crazy!" haha After I explained the whole idea of being able to manage an account online, (not sure how much of that he understood), he said, "You're messin' with me, aren't you?" I laughed and told him I amuse myself by twisting the minds of the elderly.

I will also report that Dad's walk-in cat, "Mae Belle," delivered a bundle of fuzzy joy in the floorboard of his truck yesterday (Dad called immediately to make the announcement.) I guess that means he can't drive the truck now for at least six weeks.

Guys and Dolls

Big weekend of Guys and Dolls with Devri in one of the two female leading roles----Adelaide. Mom and Dad came with us Saturday night. Mom enjoyed the orchestra and tapped her feet along. She also clapped after the music and of course, we both enjoyed our M&M's during intermission. This was Devri's first "real production" with a real audition and a real review which said, "Miss Adelaide nearly stops the show every time she opens her mouth." I know Mom was proud of her and she was aware of when and where she was on stage. Dad dubbed it her "best performance ever." (Dev decided Mom should try on her veil.)

The Battle of Oxford

Never heard of this battle? Well, it concerns my father vs Oxford Health Care. Our story begins when I began to notice that the caregivers, (Dad and Christine), were both getting pretty cranky. (lightly stated) Evidently the stress was getting to them and I knew it was only going to get worse in just two weeks time when the entire Brock/Stebbins family leaves for Galveston for a week and Dad is alone with Mom. When we return, Christine and I will both begin school, as will Devri, so the visits we have been able to provide through the week this summer will be coming to an end. After getting grudging permission from Dad to "check into" home health care, I found what I thought was a good program. An LPN could come to the house for four hours, twice/week and would help Mom get through her shower and dressed, and also would clean house, do laundry, fix lunch, run errands, take her for walks, and encourage Dad. I knew this would de-stress Christine a little bit when she is away at school/work, and I hoped Dad would be able to leave the house to visit friends, or do chores outside without trying to contain Mom simultaneously. I also hoped he might get a nap in. Mom has started getting up around 3:30-4:00 a.m. and moving to the couch, so Dad has been following her out there and getting very little sleep, no doubt contributing to his irritability. The cost would be $17/hour, which calculates to $68/visit.

So, I introduced the idea to Dad and got an immediate and adamant refusal. He didn't need any help, whatsoever. The reason he brought up, primarily, was that it was too expensive. This is also from the man who refuses to buy lettuce for the same reason. I smirked. I knew that someday we would need some nursing help if we are going to be able to keep Mom at home and it made sense to me to set it up now, rather than wait until everybody has a nervous breakdown.

The final result is that I made Dad mad, but he agreed to have someone come out on Mondays for the next two weeks and then made a decision as to contuing or cancelling. He still thinks it's too expensive and that he doesn't need any help, but he agreed to this concession just to shut me up. The first week I will go and meet the home health aide and the second, she will come while we are on vacation and Dad is there by himeslf. The nurse who sets up the whole program came to the house yesterday to meet Mom and Dad, (and I), assess what the needs were, and fill out paperwork. She was a funny lady who dad enjoyed, which helped, and she talked straight with him saying, "You cannot get down," and suggesting taking a break was a step in protecting his own health. So, although I'm disappointed that it doesn't appear he will take a break, (rather go nuts alone than stay sane with help), we are in the system so if something comes up and we suddenly do need help, (like if Dad were to get sick or something,) we are set up and ready to go. We just have to call and say, "Please send someone out."

Mom appeared to enjoy meeting the lady. She smiled at her a lot and nodded, sitting at the table with us while the lady typed information into the computer. Her eyes that were previously dull and bored perked right up when she walked in. Mom even situated her chair around the lady's shoulder so she could watch her type, still smiling. You know what a social creature Mom is.....no doubt she's dying of boredom being at home with no social outlet. I guess. Who knows. She sure was perky, though, during the entire visit. And the lady was a hoot who joked around with Mom as if there were nothing at all out of the ordinary going on. That was refreshing.

We'll see how it all works out. But this is the second time Dad and I have knocked heads....the first time was when we put locks on the doors. He ended up thanking me for them, but this time.....he's a hard sell. Always ready to help everyone else, but when it comes to himself...."It's too expensive." Why does he have to be so darn good?

high school reunion

Well, I haven't seen the musical, but I'm thinking it wasn't quite like Mom's high school reunion, Class of 57, that met today for their yearly get-together. Dad said she wouldn't say whether she wanted to go or not, so he figured he'd go ahead and take her. Then last night, I think he began to think about the whole logistics of the thing. What if she needs to go to the restroom? What if I need to go to the restroom and she takes off? What if she just walks out in the middle of everything? He called and asked if I thought she could make it through. I told him, "Mom will have no problem, whatsoever. The question is, can you make it through the class reunion?" That's what he was concerned about.

They met at Ryan's Restaurant in Joplin which made it quite easy for me to drop by and assist as needed. Mom enjoyed seeing everyone, it appeared. She smiled a lot and greeted each person with a pat on the back and many others with a hug. When I pointed and asked who different people were, she correctly answered, "Nana," "Jerry," "Jim," etc. She had no trouble filling her plate at the buffet, or sitting and eating. We took a little walk midway through, which was a blessing to get out in the sunshine for a few minutes and then headed back for the remainder of the visit, giving Dad a few minutes to speak without worring about where she was. I believe I heard they had only 2 classmates missing this time, from what looked to be about a class of 20 or maybe not quite.

Anyway, they were nice folks and it all went smooth as could be. I could tell Mom really enjoyed it as she went down the row of people, patting each one, smiling and nodding to them. One doesn't necessarily need to speak to be sociable! :) And her classmates were so glad to see her and so kind towards her. It was pretty sweet---I know this affects them, as well. Mom always enjoyed going to her class reunions every year and we were glad she was able to go again this year.

honeysuckle etc.

Nothing new to report, particularly, except that the honeysuckle is blooming and you see Mom standing in front of it in her new size 16 clothes. Yes, she's losing a little weight, but not to worry, it's certainly not from lack of appetite! It's easy to pick nutritious food for someone else to eat, and then consume fast food ourselves! Not to say that she's sugar/junk food deprived....I took her to Sonic for sundaes last week and we had M&M's last night. But on a daily basis, Christine runs a tight ship, as Dad says, and things like pop, (which Mom used to drink a whole lot of), have been cut from the drink menu, (if Christine finds it.) Really, I think if she were thinking clearly, she would be quite pleased with her more healthy self. And of course, she's getting plenty of exercise....always on the go.

Last night we (Mom, Dad, and I), went to see Devri perform in "Beauty and the Beast." It was a ballet and Devri was proud to have her name all by herself for the first time instead of under the heading, "trees," or "snowflakes." She actually had a character with a name! Her character was Selfish, a sister of Beauty from the original writing, and she was all that. All through the ballet Mom pointed to Devri's name in the program. I continued to point her out as the girl with the black hair, but wasn't really sure she could recognize her. I added this photo to show how different Devri looked. Of course, my battery was dead on the camera when Mom and Dad went, so I didn't get a photo of them together. After the performance, when the dancers came out to greet the public, Devri headed right for Grandma. It took a bit, but when she got within three feet, Mom's face lit up like the Fourth of July---the eyebrows went up, the mouth opened in silent exclamation, and she wrapped Devri up in her arms in a tight squeeze. I can only describe it as "joyful exuberance," like finding the Hope Diamond in a box of Crackerjacks. Speaking or not, there was absolutely no doubt that Grandma remains Devri's most dedicated and adoring fan. For a split second there, she was herself again completely....it was a flashback that brought Devri tears, and me a memory to play again and again in my mind, so I never forget what a wonderful moment it was!!

Berry pickin'

Strawberries in Carl Junction have ripened despite the cloudy, drippy days, and Mom, Dad, and I went picking Saturday morning. Dad had thought about going when the patch opened on Wednesday, but lost his nerve at the thought of managing Mom and picking at the same time. He says he really can't take her anywhere anymore, because she's "so damned unpredictable." I don't think she's unpredictable, at all. You can count on the fact that whatever you're doing, she's going to walk off and asking her to come back will have no effect whatsoever. What's unpredictable about that? Anyway, we went and she picked a good number of berries here, there, and everywhere. Most of the time she was content to stand and hold the crate for me while I picked. The patch is a side business owned by Devri's boyfriend and his family, so we had Patrick, (the boyfriend) on hand to help as well. We got a system down where Patrick stood on one end of the row picking, while Dad and I picked at the opposite end. Mom would walk all the way down the row, stopping to pick here and there, but ultimately had in mind to leave the patch. Patrick would catch her on the other end and point her back to Dad and I and say, "Let's pick some more berries." She headed back to Dad and I, picking as she went, then turned and headed back again to Patrick. Back and forth she went, but she did pick quite a few berries and the day was warm, wet, and farm fresh. I was glad she was pacing in a berry patch rather than a nursing home. How great is that! When we got home back to my house, Dad went home in hopes of taking an uninterrupted nap and Mom and I began stemming the 28.5 pounds of berries we had carted out. (Cost us $50 bucks, but we just couldn't stop!) Mom always stems her berries with a spoon rather than a knife, thankfully, and we spent an hour stemming side by side at the sink, mostly in silence. I did get confused a few times and put the stems in with the berries and the berries in with the stems. She chuckled and fished them out for me.

After the stemming we went to the hardware store to have a key made. We dropped off the key, lapped the store, and it was ready when we came back to the front....no problem.

Next stop was the shoe store as Dad had asked me to take Mom to buy some sandals. This was a bit more of a challenge, running between the shoe shelf getting the right size and keeping her in the chair by instructing her to "take off your socks" and "hold this box" and whatever else I could think of to keep her in one place. We were in and out in ten minutes---forget putting those shoes in a bag. Mom took the box and headed for the car, leaving the sales girl holding the sack with a question on her face. No time to explain, just a quick wave, "Thank you very much" and hurry, hurry to catch up with Mom before she got to the door. For someone who walks so slowly, she sure covers ground!

I delivered her home and we made a shortcake, of course, polishing off two pieces each before it was over. It was quite delicious!! Is there anything better than the first strawberry shortcake of the season---that you've picked yourself? I don't think so.