nurturing

When I got down to Mom and Dad's house today, Mom was already outside. She was wearing three coats with three shirts underneath that, so I'd say she was sufficiently bundled. As I got out of the car I said, "Hi, Mom. What are you doing?" She said without hesitation, "Getting ready to go to Competition." (where they lived when the boys were little.) I said, "Oh, yeah? Hang on a minute and I'll go with you." Why argue? She opted to come on into the house with me, instead. I said to Dad, "Mom says you're going to Competition." He said he'd like to, but would have to have someone go with him because he can't drive all that way by himself with Mom not talking to him. We'll have to plan a trip up when the weather is a bit warmer.

The afternoon was full of things that pointed to Mom's confusion, but I don't want this blog to be a list of "crazy stuff Mom does." I will say only that she has some brown jersey gloves she is now enjoying wearing. That's a good thing since she likes to be outside as much as the weather allows. She likes to wear them in the house, too, and to bed. We're glad she is at home with us so if she wants to wear jersey gloves to bed, that's her perogative. If it's a comfort to her, it's a comfort to us! Who really cares?

Dad's going to have to watch his mouth, though. We were sitting in the stove room swapping stories when he told me about how as a child he had once taken a candle and written with it on the stovepipe. He received quite the reprimand, I guess, because it caused a fair amount of smoke. Less than 30 seconds later, Mom was there with a birthday candle ready to try it out on the stove pipe herself! I said, "Dad, watch what you say and don't be giving her any more ideas!"

At one point in the evening, Mom got a jacket and put it on me. I remembered someone telling me that some Alzheimers patients feel a need to "nurture" and sometimes a doll will keep them happy and occupied. I decided to give it a shot with a doll I found in the attic. I gave it to her while she was sitting in the rocking chair. She looked at it with the same care and concern she would a grandchild and there was a glimmer of normalcy in the way she held that doll so carefully. She rocked it a while then put it on the dining room table. After a break to do something else that crossed her mind, she found the doll again and occupied herself with sitting it on her lap, tucking the "blanket" (tea towel) close around its neck and feet, and holding it vertically, then horizontally to watch its eyes open and shut. I hope we're on to something here and this will give her something to do besides try the doors. My goal is to enjoy having her here and to keep her happy and safe. So far, so good!

shocking

(Sadie, Ellie, and Mom take a walk.) Mom has a shorter trek than the Magnus Corner she enjoys. It's the prefered walk for us in that we can see her from the house the entire time. She goes down to the field south of the house, picks up some fluff from a stuffed animal that evidently died there and loops around to the cars, putting the stuffing in the cupholder of the Toyota. One thing, though, she has to cross electric fence to get there. No problem to her, though. She takes hold of the fence with both hands and takes her time stepping over and does not even flinch. Dad has watched her do it a number of times and thought, "There must be something wrong with the fence." Nope, it's hot alright. There is some sort of disconnect somewhere, though, because she has no reaction to it at all. It's not dangerous, I guess, but.....it's pretty strange. Dad started locking the car saying "I'm tired of all this )*(&^(*^& stuff she puts in the car." I tried to encourage him to relax and let her do her thing. So, he has fluff in the cupholder---welcome to the new normal!

spilled milk

Oh, yeah....Mom was walking around the house in a dazed sort of way saying nothing, until I fumbled a full jug of milk up to the counter and spilled some of it--very nearly a catastrophic accident. Then she looked at me and laughed. Thanks, Mom!

gettin'chatty

Yes, Mom has spoken a few sentences! I had my doubts when I heard she had asked her brother Fred if he wanted to stay the night when he visited this week, but it was confirmed by both Fred and Grandpa, so I guess it's so! I was amazed. Since Chad and his family are out of town, my kids and I spent last night with Mom and Dad and I left this afternoon. It was cold, but not too windy, and the sun was shining with no clouds to block it, so I went with Mom on her walk to the corner and back. We had their two dogs and my two dogs I had brought for the overnight stay. Out of the blue Mom said, "I haven't taken these dogs on a walk before." I was stunned. At the first sound I started reading her lips, willing for the sentence to go on and on. Every sentence is a surprise gift to be enjoyed. You can't coax her to say more, or to speak at all, but sometimes she just does. So we enjoy the moment and go on. When we go to the corner I said, "Do you want to walk up the road or back up through the pasture?" not expecting an answer, but she said, "Go up the road." Twice she got onto the dog with a "Get back here, Addy." I willed the dog to roam more just to hear her speak. And halfway up the dirt road she said, "Carl picks me up here sometimes." It was such a surprise after so many days of "nothing." And what she said was accurate and made sense. Great day!!

Christmas

The day was nice and warm, a good day to be out and about. Mom, Dad, Chad's parents, and all of our children made a total of 13 for Christmas dinner at my house. Allen wasn't able to make it, but we still had a full house and that was nice. My folks were here for about 2 hours and Mom only went out a couple of times, which was quite unusual. At my house, she only goes in the yard, thankfully, and there were plenty of kids to keep tabs on her whereabouts. For the second year in a row we did not exchange gifts, which made the holidays much less stressful for Dad (and everybody), and no less enjoyable. Dad enjoyed visiting with Chad's dad---they are two of a kind. Mom's appetite remains good. I cut her turkey up pretty small and she had no problems eating, helping herself to a second serving of chocolate pie afterwards. (Mom and Dad eating dessert--the table really was full before this was taken!)

At Mom and Dad's house, Christine ignored Dad's request that they ignore the holidays all-together, and she, Devri, and Eric went to a tree farm and drug home a tree for them. They put it up in the dining room and spent the day at their house decorating, stringing popcorn, drinking hot tea, and merry-making.

So, Christmas came and went without event, which a blessing--one more Christmas with my parents 'round the table! We are indeed thankful.

He delivers!

Nice day today---warm and good for getting out in the fresh air. Dad decided to cut a little wood and Mom went with him. She was walking around in the field, as usual....nothing really to hurt her, if you keep in mind the vicinity she is in. When she was done walking aroung, she headed back to the house via the dirt road. Well, it just so happened that the mail was coming through about that time, so the carrier picked up Grandma and brought her and some Christmas cards to the front door. Not finding Dad at home, he drove up in the field to find him and say that she had been delivered. I'm telling you---we get full service from our postman!

One of Mom's very favorite tales was when one day she was standing up at the mailbox with a chicken she was getting ready to butcher....(I have no idea why she was doing this), but along came Rick the mail carrier and said, "Let me show you how to do it." He stepped out of the car and wrung that poor chicken's neck in a split second. She was so impressed. She said, "I've never seen anything like it, just 'boop' and it was done!" She told me a million times, "Yeah, one time I was standing up at the mailbox with this chicken, and Rick came by with the mail......" We-uns are easily impressed.

even in the dark

The neighbor, Bobby Morris, came to visit Dad the other day after dark and Dad said to himself, "She won't go out because it's dark outside" and left the door unlocked. Needless to say, in 15 minutes he ended up driving search and rescue where he found her already heading back from her walk to Magnus's. She had her gloves and jacket, but really....it was not a good thing. I didn't jump Dad's case too much, though, because if I did he'd never tell me anything. Plus, he felt bad about it. I am having a very hard time getting Dad to believe that Mom is beyond reason now and just because she hasn't done something before doesn't mean she won't do it today. Dad gained some insight, though. He now knows to lock the door whether night or day and even if he plans to go back out in five minutes.

Poor Dad. He really wants to believe she knows a little bit about what she's doing, but it just isn't so. He makes his errors, but really he's being quite a trouper. Allen and I always figured Dad should die first because if Mom would die first, he'd be completely incapacitated. But he's fooled us, doing things I've never seen him do before---such as driving to Joplin. He used to say he wouldn't drive to Joplin to see Jesus Christ, himself. Now he hops up here whenever he pleases, completely stress free. There was also a time when Dad hadn't been to Wal-Mart in five years...now he's a super shopper. And have I mentioned he uses the ATM machine?! WOW.